The Sleep Trick Experts Don't Talk About

Olivia's first night in the hospital upon leaving my womb, she spent getting bathed and swaddled while I slept like a mac truck had hit me. The second night however, Brian and I chose to have her "room in" and thus got a glimpse of the wonderful world of sleeping with Olivia. We had dreams of her breathing deeply nestled in my arms and waking only to yawn and stretch and maybe make a cute baby noise...boy were we in for a surprise when our little bundle flexed her golden pipes for 6 hours straight!!! Walking, nursing, singing, swaddling, unswaddling...even a nurse coming in to lend us newbies some help did NOTHING to quiet our screamer. We figured it must be the hospital and hoped things would be different once we got home. In hushed anticipation we layed our sleeping newborn in her handpicked perfect cosleeper with the handpicked perfect propper upper thing in the handpicked perfect pajamas only to have her wake up screaming 2 seconds later. Thus began our sleeping (or not sleeping) for oh about two years. :) Olivia is 27 months old and has slept through the night about four times and yes this is the medical terminology for sleeping through the night which lends a whopping 6 hours to parents. I read every magazine, talked to endless different parents, and pleaded with Livi to please sleep! As time wore on, I grew frustrated with the typical "let her cry it out" spiel and began to keep my torturous nighttime problems to myself. When people would ask how she was sleeping, I would often smile and say "fine" which was true...for her. If you watched her level of daytime energy or observed her happy mood on any given day, she WAS fine...beyond fine and that is what scared me most! Maybe she really didn't need sleep! Maybe she could survive waking up every 45 minutes (yes...45 minutes) for 1 1/2 yrs and be fine. Maybe she would never outgrow it! Panic would overcome me as I filled my coffee cup and gazed at the only thing keeping me together. Truth be told I did try the "cry it out" method...for 20 minutes...couldn't stand her crying...sorry. I tried holding her. I tried nursing her. I tried not nursing her. I tried sleeping in another room (hard to do when you live in a 1 bedroom apt). I tried everything shy of medicating her..ok I did give her Benadryl once or twice...or five times. And then one day it hit me. Olivia is not a deep sleeper and I don't think she will ever be. I mean a plane could change course three hours away and she would sense the change in the air. There really honestly is NOTHING I can do about it! And suddenly, that's ok. Someday she will call me in the middle of the night to let me know that a dog four streets away was barking when she got up to use the bathroom and I will welcome her call. You see, God is giving me new eyes...eyes into the future and I know that someday I will look back and laugh at my little night owl. I will laugh at the tricks I tried to get my baby to sleep. And I will MISS IT. These days Olivia still wakes up about two or three times a night and although it doesn't take much to get her back to sleep, it does for me! But I am learning to take those awake moments (or hours) and put them to use. Somtimes I hold her and enjoy that she's not trying to get up and do something. Sometimes I sit and watch her breathe which brings me joy unlike anything else. And sometimes it is my greatest prayer time since I am not distracted. So I guess if a mother came to me and asked what sleep method I use, I would be inclined to tell her that I do my favorite method...the go with what your child needs method. Harder from night to night, but oh so worth it in the end.