"So I tell you do not worry what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body as to what you will put on... who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?...So do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself."
Worry is a common topic among Christian circles and we humans worry about everything. Our money...our relationships...our time...our investments...getting sick...losing weight...gaining weight...children...jobs...on and on and on. Worry has been linked to alot of physical problems the first being that chronic worriers often get sick more than people who are laid back. I have personally struggled with worry for as long as I can remember. It is a constant struggle to send my thoughts down a different path when they want to wander the halls of "what if".
Lastnight I went to bed with a sore throat. Nothing to worry about for the average person, but for me it threatened to consume me all night. You see October of 2009, I went to be with a sore throat that got worse all night long. By morning it was so raw I could hardly swallow. I called the dr and they asked me to come in right away for a strep test. While using the restroom at the office I began to bleed and I was rushed into a room for an emergency ultrasound. There I lay on the table and watched the dr and nurses glance at eachother with worried eyes. They talked in hushed voices and left me to stare at the screen showing a baby so small I could barely see her. The dr fumbled over her words and I had to concentrate to make statements like "too small" and "will lose the baby soon" out. My strep test was negative and by the time I got home my throat was fine. I however dissolved into a puddle of tears as the next 48 hours took me through the hell of losing a child. I relived all that lastnight and have watched for any warning signs all day today. Losing a child is unique in that it's the only time you watch someone you love die, from your own body. It is horrific. So in my mind, when Jesus commands us not to worry, why did he not put a clause in there for cases like mine where it seems impossible not to worry? Doesn't He know there's only so much a human heart can take?
I think the answer is found in 1 Peter 5:7
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you".
The verses in Matthew command us not to worry, but then here God gives us something to do with our worry because He knows we still will. Here He gives us an action plan. When overwhelmed with thoughts of "what if" we need to bundle them all together and hurl them onto God's back and let Him carry it for us. That frees us up to crawl into His arms and let Him comfort us from what haunts us. That's what I did lastnight. Each time the memories of the past or the fear of the future threatened to choke all hope, I repeated the 23rd psalm to myself and let Jesus rock me back to sleep. Friends this is tough stuff. I share my story with you so that you can embrace the depth of what God asks of us and offers to help us carry it out. I have about six months left to go before I can hold my sweet baby and I know that there will be many more days filled with fear and worry. But it's comforting to know that the same God that commands me not to worry has also given me a way of escape when I do and it always leads me back to Him
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